Doesn't remind me of anything - I

The sea and other places

Red Shoes

Ram Leela scene | April 2012 | Nasik

Naisk Ghat, lonely Gods at midnight | April 2012 | Nasik

ICE Corporate AV shoot-  | April 2012 | Killick Nixon Studios | Bombay

 Rays of the sun all caught in one | May 2012 | Morjim Beach | Goa

shack, footprint, 

 6am | May 2012 | Morjim Beach | Goa

Slipper and Dog Friend | May 2012 | Morjim Beach | Goa

 Doll leg | May 2012 | Morjim Beach | Goa

Purana Poster

The lost Carnival...

I don't really take pictures anymore but...

Tiny Ballerina on my desk at work, an orange and a bottle of ink. 

Holi water Ballon 

 Unopened part of a Mall

Some red leaves

 Lanterns at a Chinese restaurant

 Fallen red leaves, your time is over

 An empty key holder at a pub car parking

Leaves, reflection  

 Samuel Fuller

 The desktop ballerina, she is my favorite office toy after the printer

A Blue Flower (that I effectively killed by plucking it) 

Some pink and blue flowers, they don't last long after plucking... 

Kony 2012 campaigner Jason Russell detained for public rampage - The Guardian

Dear Internet,

I live in a different time zone where it is already Saturday so I woke up late and saw none of this drama. As a person of color (not African) and a devoted internet dweller I have to say this is a fucking shame. How deeply saddening. All of us righteous people on the internet have something to do with this man's meltdown. He did what he set out to do, now even an everyday idiot knows who Joseph Kony is. Which in itself might not be a great thing but it is still better than ignorance. And how did the world pay him back? With suspicion, endless blame games and harsh criticisms.

"Oh why does the movie about africa have a white man talking" - because it is the story of one man's personal journey of realisation. A man just like most of you and most of you are white!

"What the fuck is his kid doing in the movie?" - He is talking to you with his kid on his side because you understand those kind of visuals.

"There is no Joseph Kony in the Uganda anymore, this is a rip off" - so what if there is no Kony in Uganda? I mean what the fucking fuck sort of BS argument is this. Kony is still alive, people/children are still in danger aren't they? And its not just about Kony alone, it is about people like him that the world has no idea about. If you don't know, how will you care?

"Oh they kept all the millions for themselves. Thieves!" - I don't see you complaining when you pay for expensive video games and apple products. But change must still be free of cost and those trying to bring it about should be pious monks who die in penury.

Why must we always try to downgrade, degrade and crush the one who had the balls to stand up in a crowd. Try to make a difference. What have we personally done that counts as anything worthwhile (don't fucking say SOPA - you only did it for yourself and your internet, people in a third world country do not and will not give a fuck about it)

I don't know maybe I am over reacting and completely wrong. But it is something to think about. Stop being an idiot for one second.

SEA OF PEOPLE

Videos from my phone again and music by Max Richter from the animated feature film WALTZ WITH BASHIR. 
Track name: Andante - Reflection (End Title)

I do not own rights to the music.

Why I don't write as much as I want to...

Every time I start writing, soon enough I call my own bluff and stop. I can't be dishonest to myself you know. The second I detect pretensions and a lie in my work I seize production (lol... yeah writing is a effin production) immediately. I desperately want o write but I am unable to, only because I recognize the classic lies I tell myself... sad... hopefully I will get over this before I am too old to type... (a problem easily fixable by voice recognition softwares... so another lie... can't say anything without being deceitful... sadness engulfs the girl as she mourns the loss of love, life and the unknown...)

NOT GONNA LIE

My only thought on 9/11

The only thing which has stayed with me with the same intensity about 9/11 are the stories of the surviving families of the dead. They are some of the most saddest in the world. And all of those families of the dead would eventually try and remember what was the last thing they said to each other. They think hard, sometimes its not clear, people forget and get confused in the frenzy. A lot of case of PTSD among the beavered families were reported. Sometimes the last words are safe and secure, even recorded on a piece of paper and they make absolutely no sense. The living look for answers from the dead like looking for for a needle in the sand.

My only thought on 9/11 is that what would be my last words to my loved ones. Chances are those words were said in indifference, rudely uttered with impatience. I am sure they wouldn't have been final words worthy in any way. So what I am saying here is that do it today. Take out the time and tell those around you how much you love them and how much they mean to you. Do it today. Don't wait.

I made this one day when I was very very ill. I had taken a day off of work and found myself with nothing to do at home. The illness, though serious did not send me into a drug induced sleep. Instead I was up and about. In slight discomfort but in full control of my faculties. So I decided to make a music video of one of my current favorite songs - Bonfires by Blue Foundation. The film has been cut on Windows moviemaker. Its a pretty lame video editor (the new windows 7 version really sucks, it has way less features than the earlier editions) but I've got nothing better at the moment.

The images are screenshots (original aspect ratio) from the 2008 independent and open source animated film Sita Sings the Blues, directed by the very talented American cartoonist, animator and free culture activist Nina Paley. It intersperses events from the Ramayana, illustrated conversation between Indian shadow puppets, musical interludes voiced with tracks by Annette Hanshaw and scenes from the artist's own life. The ancient mythological and modern biographical plot are parallel tales, sharing numerous themes. By all means the film is exceptional and breath taking in both its execution and thought. The artwork is strong and well researched, incorporating almost all known styles of Indian folk paintings (shadow puppets from Kerala, Rajasthani Paintings along with the Disney style interpretation of Jasmine to name a few). All in the all the film is a rare gem and perhaps because of Ms. Paley's non profit open source bent of mind has not been able to garner enough world wide publicity as it probably could have were it distributed by a big studio. Regardless, the film is an unforgettable experience that I rate much much higher than say Persepolis.

The Song and Images featured in the Video are not mine in anyway and I do not claim to own the copyright or IP credits for either. Both are featured for non-commercial use.

Song: Blue Foundation: Bonfires
Images: Sita Sings the Blues

Why do anything?

Why Do anything?

There is no cosmic mandate to do things.

There is no cosmic mandate to change anything or make stuff.

And it is very likely that the world would not be any different

then it is now based on the propensity or strength of the things that you do do.

The Aftermath (Unfinished short story)

I

Most days, I don’t even feel like getting out of bed. Once I went for 2 months without getting out of the house or stepping in natural light. For 61 days and 62 nights i sat in front of my computer at home, barely sleeping for a few hours each day, staring into her dark brown eyes and pale white face on the screen.

‘She is not coming back’ my mom said one day. ‘If you are not careful you will turn into one of those people who have a wound inside which never heals. There is a big chance that you may never have a family if you keep going like this’ she said. ‘Who will give me grandchildren? Why do you want me to be unhappy at this age? Haven’t I been through enough already?

Grandchildren? My heart jumped up to my throat... my head is ready to explode and all this selfish man eater can think of is herself? Regretting my thoughts the very next moment, I decided to blow the old lady a kiss. She picked up my rolling stones 40 licks record and threw it at me. I love you ma. But I need to walk at my own pace to come out of this.

SSSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAMMMMM!!! She is out of the room.

I breathe easier but turn on another humidifier anyway. You can't be too careful with people like my mother.

My face is healing just fine. The nose is no longer black and I can see a whole lot better. Madhur... let’s go home... she had said that night. I never saw her again. For the next 6 weeks I drove around town looking for her, begging her friends to tell me where she was. I was met by silence everywhere. They had all turned against me. When she leaves she takes the house down as well. I sighed and went to bed.

II

When I open my eyes a sudden white light hits me and I am temporarily blind. Mother has pulled up the shades. The room is bathed in sunlight. It’s a dull monsoon day. Everything is very quite. I always leave the television on with the volume on mute. The movie ‘Sixth Sense’ is playing. I close my eyes again and bury my head under the pillow. All that can be heard is the dull humming of the ceiling fan. The spotless white ceramic floor fills the room. On one corner is the floor mattress I am lying on; right opposite it is the television. I sit up and look around for my cigarettes. I light one and walk around the house looking for some water. I find none. I come back and sit on the mattress and open my laptop. I don’t own anymore furniture, so a lot of things are things are lying around the floor, the pattern resembling a Dalmatians coat. There is the hard disk, headphones, my wallet, a hair brush, a newspaper, matchbox, and an extension cord running all the way across the floor to the bed. I count and I find that 5 different wires and cables are running out of my laptop at this point. The ipod is charging, my phone is plugged in for a backup, the hard disk is taking two ports, then there are the mini speakers as well.

Anyway, this is how my horror story started. I knew what her every move meant. What her every look said. Knowing the thoughts inside that dark head of hers were making me more nervous then I had been in a long time. I am usually not faint hearted. I have been known to be pretty brave. But not tonight. Tonight I was a coward... afraid of things to come. You could say it was relatively good news that was coming my way. But I am a fool who doesn’t see a good thing even if it slaps me in the face. Proximity is dangerous. We were two rats caught in a jumble of our own tails. Our lives were so intertwined with each other that the whole thing could be called the biggest mess – the rat king if you will. The whole affair was very distasteful if you ask me.

III – 6 months ago

The entire length of the street, from one end to the other was bathed in the bright orange tungsten of the street lamp. They flung her body from a moving car. It hit the ground with a thud! Then slumppp… it fell face down. The car didn’t stop. It just kept moving away like a sharp slow knife through the dense winter fog. The only light sources were the street lamps. So the streets saw everything, the dumping, slumping and slipping. It cradled her limp lifeless body as she lay there with every bone in her body broken and her eyes filled with blood. The streets heard the first cop car approaching and saw the first paramedic walk in, it felt the first passerby stop… still it was like any other night really. Nothing extraordinary at all.

I had to stop because there was a huge crowd blocking the street turn which would take me home. I slowed to survey the scene. Right under the bridge a girl with blonde hair was lying in a pool of blood; presumably her own. The blood made a moon shaped circle around her head. She looked so peaceful. Nishi’s thoughts went back to his mother immediately. She had long hair, blonde like the dead girls’.

One of the most beautiful things in this world is the aftermath. The aftermath of a chaos is as much a witness to the horrors of the past as it is gentle reminder of what has survived. Almost always there is this mad silence, a silence so strong that it never fails to mark the lives it touches. Like I said, there is an undeniable beauty in aftermath.

I have Longed to move away...

I have longed to move away…

From this still of the day,

And the dead in the sky.

I have tried to look away

And turn a blind eye.

The constant shor of this city

Has already sucked me dry

The old tales untellable cry

Becoming more tellable as the day goes by.

I feel cheated and ripped off

And hollow inside

As if kicked out and left to die.

I have longed to move away from this dreadful life…

Mecha Dog and Friends

Forgive the picture quality, its from a phone camera (nokia E71, worst camera ever), I don't have a good camera (weeps)

Mecha: cute stray dog I met at churchgate station, notice the bad ass eye patch. Pirate arrggghh

It was windy: when I took this picture, Goa

Light House

In other news, I cannot write poetry anymore. Not one word, not one line. It comes out all crap!

The YOUTUBE Win Story: One small step for Internet, One giant

I am a late bloomer. I feel like I discovered youtube a bit late in life. Well, its true that I have been kind of busy. I have been working non-stop for 6 years and I am 26 now. Rather oldish I think. After all it has been 8 years since I was in high school.

Regardless, I started watching youtube (read subscribing) only 7 months ago. One of the first people I discovered was Michael Buckley from the whatthebuckshow. I was immediately smitten. It was perfect. Buck took me to Shane Dawson (He always wore a Shane Dawson Shirt), Shane took me to Fred. Fred to Shane (the 'Fred is Dead' video links the two comedians pretty well with 18,471,495 views), Then there was RWJ, who sent me to mysteryguitarman and the Shaytards. Oh the Shaytard! I came across Charles Trippy and Finally to the vlogbrothers right here. Its been 4 months. I have hungrily viewed almost all videos. I also watch Sexephil, Kassem G, Somegreybloke, AgentXPQ plus the musicians - Daniela Andrade, Mark Beasely, Gia, and ofcourse the very funny and talented Nicepeter. And I am pleased to report to the mothership that mission Youtube is successful! Youtube has slowly but steadily taken over television for me! With so many views and registered subscribers, it a freaking religion.

And the amazing thing is that youtube is not just a platform for creativity, but also a successful new media business story. A lot of people in my part of the world are still vary of technological changes. We are a big population, the stakes are high if you loose or even when you win. But it is more likely that with new media and the internet boom we will win (Even in midst of a billion dollar 3G scam and wikileaks exposé which threatens to take down the Indian government).

Anyway, the biggest surprise is also how self sustaining the youtube community can be because the youtubers, they take care of each other. Never before did linking a url hold more power. Everyone seems to sharing links readily without the malice and unreasonable competitiveness otherwise common in film and television. I guess, in its own way youtube brings good things to life. It brings good people together, it assimilates ironical unions and throws open the gates to freedom of expression. Could there have been a better and more accessible platform on the internet for the Egyptian revolution to simmer, or the constant reportage and commentary on the Libya Crisis? And music, what can I say about the music. Youtube today is the most important space for indie music and other artistic talents (yes Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber), more important and organised than myspace or any other place. moreover there is a strong sense of community in the whole concept and how it operates. Time and again youtubers try their best to give back to the people what the people gave to them. They meet and plot at Vidcon, donate and encourage debate via project for awesome, they meet each other and the audience in playlist live and they analyse and explore their success in the youtube partners project.

The partners project has turned out to be extremely lucrative in the recent times [1]. People have paid off house loans worth 100,000$ with the partners project. Over time people have confessed true love, taught us how to make fake abs, how to dress and do our makeup, invented internet meme, reinvented stand-up comedy, discussed giraffe sex, pranked and played, even dissed Emily Dickenson (do not approve at all), called out on the dullness of life, shown us what loneliness is, helped us through personal problems, all this under one roof.

[2] This is as personalized as entertainment will ever be. Your power to hit subscribe not only helps someone earn a decent living but also completely revolutionizes media. You watch what you want or unsubscribe and leave. The most fabulous thing is that it doesnt cost you a cent. Of course you pay for the exhibition product and the electricity, but you did that with TV as well. If anything you paid for the cable.

If all goes well, and I dont see why it shouldn't - I see amazing things happening. I see the TV replaced by an awesome and more mobile device. The good part is that the chances of this happening in our life time is very good. We will be at the face of a communication revolution like they predicted in the science fiction books. I am also aware that such a dream needs an internet and telecommunication boom first. I live in India, I am a part of a handful of privileged citizens who live in big cities and who have had the good fortune to receive an education. The rest of my country is way far behind. But worry not, there are sparks of change. We will catch up.

The bottom line is that internet as a means of change is undebatable. Things like the google art project are just the tip of the iceberg considering the things to come. I can't wait to be a part of this wave of free distribution of positive information. I can't wait to see how it impacts my country of ruins. I can't wait for internet and youtube to finally do what they are meant to do, to reach schools and colleges in the remotest and poorest parts of country, to bring transparency in reporting and to bring questionable events to the world's notice. I can't wait for the children to learn about a world outside of their own and for the same for the misled and misinformed adults as well.

Anyway I am getting tired of typing and being all serious. So thats all for now.

DFTBA

Articles

[1] http://www.businessinsider.com/meet-the-richest-independent-youtube...

(A bit outdated but gives a pretty accurate idea of who made how much.)

[2] http://www.website-monitoring.com/blog/2010/05/17/youtube-facts-and...